Shamrock Earrings-Begins with a rant.

[themadtatter]

My mother continuously begs for just about everything I ever make. Every time she comes over and sees my tatting or me tatting it's always "Where's mine" ?- it drives me nuts! I have missed out on selling items, displaying items, gifts etc because of her greed plus the fact that I have been out of commission for a time and now back tatting again, only has brought back her demand for me to tat for her alone. Even gifts I have received from people I have taught to tat, she wants them too!!
I have tried to tell her no and all I get is an everlasting guilt trip!
Nevertheless, now she wanted shamrock earrings (whine, whine, whine) I told her, I was working on a birthday gift and I couldn't promise I would drop my current project for her items (again with the guilt!) she kept hounding me! I finally had to send my hubby across town with her to get her out of my hair. While then peacefully working on another shamrock that I thought had too much work for her to deserve it for all her demands and whining, I conjured up this little pattern that is quick and easy to make.
I know that there are dozens of shamrock patterns out there, so if I may have inadvertently made it too much like another's, it was completely unintentional.
This was however inspired by dimpled rings (don't know who created them, but want to aknowledge the artist who did)

R10 vsp 3+8 vsp 1
R2+8 vsp 3+8 vsp 1
R2+8 vsp 3+10
C10
Tie off- Make 2
Enjoy!
Feel free to make, improvise, alter and distibute if desired. Please however give designer credit.

[Ireneho]

Just tell her that if you can't sell anything you make, then you can't buy any supplies. No supplies = no tatting. Or maybe she's a little jealous she doesn't know how to tat. I know my Mum is! :P

My Mum says to me, "I wished I'd learned when my friends were tatting, but I only wanted to learn knitting so i could make jumpers."

She thinks I go very fast with the shuttle and just likes watching!

[themadtatter]

I have tried to teach her to tat with no results. This is just like her though, she really doesn't like doing it herself, she has done this with other things to other people(sewing etc...) She feels a sense of superiority when she has others doing things for her (what I call pampered princess syndrome) and then when she gets compliments on it, she claims the credit....
It just drives me out of my mind! I wish I could just go off on her, but she works as my part time caregiver so I am stuck...

[cricket.2.U]

I never answer anything but this is too close to my situation not to do so.... you need to set boundaries with your mother. ;( It's hard and I'm not going to tell you it isn't but it helps you grow as well. It was very hard for me to start setting boundaries with my mother - she finally pushed it to the point I had to do so.....She's now 93 years old and once in awhile it comes through but at least I can answer with a yes or no when she wants to know if I am "making her one to..." and she accepts it. My mom was nearly 90 years old before I started enforcing this - don't wait that long. I wish you luck...

[carolivy]

My mother was this way with one of the crafts I used to do. I finally had enough when she asked me to make something rather large. I told her no, that I will HELP YOU make it, but I would not make it for her. She loves my tatting as well, but I make her PURCHASE what she wants. That way I know it is really appreciated, not just coveted and I get a sale which helps me with funding my addiction.

[themadtatter]

This is the LAST time I will ever make her anything! Ok, first offered to make a necklace for her yesterday, therefore only having to tat 1 item. She would not have it! It HAD to be earrings! Ok so earrings made etc....She called today, demanding them. She came over, I gave them to her and she had the nerve to pretend like she was going to put them in, and then just shoved them in her pocket!!! Later, she saw my youngest making beaded jewelry and demanded in a whiny voice for her to make her "a nice pair of earrings" for SPD!!! This evening (still not wearing them) she then said could I make her a necklace instead!!!! When I gave her the earrings, she kept "picking" at them and even pretended she couldnt put them in her ears (they were small kidney wires and she's had pierced since before I was born!) She agreed to buy them but she then said she would have rather had a necklace instead!!! This was AFTER they were made!
I just cant win for losing!!!
Tell me, is there anything wrong with these? (OK besides the bad camera shot!)
15765

[Batty Tatter]

Your shamrocks are adorable. So here's a strange question. I hope I don't offend you. Has your mom ever been tested for Alzheimers?

[themadtatter]

I don't think so- but then again she would have had to have it since I was 5; she has always been this way periodically. She has a lot of "issues" like this.....I am just going to have to set boundaries with her, however I do not think I will be tatting anything for her again; money or not....I just don't need the stress.
On a lighter note, DH told her tonight to learn to tat, and make them herself from now on. (Thanks Johnny!!)

[RandaGray]

I have a friend that's like that... Every time she gets on pinterest, or sees me tatting, or I list something in my store. Once she even traded a hand made baby outfit for a tablecloth that I hadn't made & didn't bother to ask me first. Just came to my house one afternoon & says "I need you to make a tablecloth that's xx by xx long." Like I could whip it up in a few minutes.
This after literally my entire tatting career of offering to teach her to tat. She does the same things with crochet items. So at this point in life, I not only started saying "I'll teach you to tat/crochet so you can make your own," I've started just plain flat out saying "NO." or "Go to my store & buy it"
I had to start doing this when I made her a pressed tatted flower keychain exactly to her specifications & she intentionally broke the glass out of it after mentioning to me it wasn't big enough.

[susiearnholt]

Say with me: "my time is valuable, my time is valuable, my time is valuable!" NEVER give things to someone who won't appreciate them. ONLY sell things you don't want. NEVER stop what you are doing for anyone other than your husband or children...unless YOU want to stop. People cannot manipulate you without your consent. People cannot take advantage of you without your consent. DO NOT CONSENT!!! Your skill and time are priceless; do not sell them cheaply.

[Catriona]

they are cute, very much like the heart medallions in the baby bonnet i'm making.

[carolivy]

Say with me: "my time is valuable, my time is valuable, my time is valuable!" NEVER give things to someone who won't appreciate them. ONLY sell things you don't want. NEVER stop what you are doing for anyone other than your husband or children...unless YOU want to stop. People cannot manipulate you without your consent. People cannot take advantage of you without your consent. DO NOT CONSENT!!! Your skill and time are priceless; do not sell them cheaply.

I SO agree with what Susiearnholt is saying!!!

[janet6567]

My sister is the same way. I have made so many things for her but no matter what I give her, she is never satisfied. I made beautiful cross bookmarks for her and her husband, and she gave them to one of her friends and told me I needed to make her some more since she'd given them away. Whenever I post a picture of something I've done (on Facebook) , her comment is always, "Is that for me." Once I included my hand in a picture and she responded, "You need a manicure." I love making things and giving them to friends, but I get really annoyed when someone demands that I do something for them. So this thread really makes me realize that my time and talent are worth something. If she demands anything else, I'll just tell her she can buy it from me. Thanks for posting this!

[Judy]

To Janet... where does that controlling sister live? Near you? Next time she tells you that you should tat for her, offer to teach her. When I give something away, I try to let loose of it mentally as well as physically. If the recipient chooses to give it away, that's their choice... We can wish that it went to someone who would appreciate it, but there are no guarantees. How about asking her if she wants to head up your tatting distribution plan... you'll sell them to her to sell on a sort of consignment plan where you get the major return and she gets a tiny commission for selling them for you.

[janet6567]

Judy, my sister lives about three hours away and her demanding gifts is only one of her many annoying habits! I've offered to teach her to tat, but she's not interested. I love the idea of telling her she could sell my items for a commission. She occassional has a table at First Monday Trade Days in Canton, TX (several acres of tables and booths) to sell some of her jewelry and crafts. I've never sold an item, so I have no idea how to price them. Thanks for your great idea!

[crazytatter]

I've never sold an item, so I have no idea how to price them. Thanks for your great idea!

Go to eBay or Etsy and see how much people are charging for their pieces, you can get an idea from there.