Not tatting related, but I need to vent
by, 24-12-2010 at 03:18 PM (891 Views)
I'm sorry in advance; this is a long, angry post about something totally unrelated to tatting. But I want the world to know we've lost one of the few great human beings.
Yesterday morning I received the news that one of my close friends was killed in an accident at work. He works with large equipment in construction so you can imagine. He was 28 years old.
I know, deep in my heart that God does everything for a reason, & that because Blake was the good & decent man he was that he's in a btter place now. But at the same time, I can't help being very, very ANGRY. He had so much ahead of him & he was such a wonderful man; to be taken in such a terrible accident seems a huge injustice!! Not only was he a good person in himself, he is also the sole financial support for his mother & sick father, as well as a brother who for some reason or another can't hold a job ( perfectly healthy, just won't). What will happen to them??
What bothers me the most is that there were so many things he wanted from life; things he still had left to do - marriage, children, grandchildren, vacations, holidays, & although it may be selfish, time spent with friends in the woods on a horse!
He always had a smile, & would give the shirt off his back to make another person smile. Would go out of his way to help you, even if he was having his own problems. Never asked for a thing in return. One of the most forgiving, loving, honest human beings I've ever known. And just like that he's gone. Forever.
It seems like a dream.... A VERY bad one that i just can't wake up from. I just can't accept that my friend is gone. Not when only days before his accident he was offering me the use of his truck & trailer so I could go to a race that my husband will be working day of. And I didn't even take the time to tell him how much he meant to me. Not even a "thank you" because it was totally normal behavior & he'd have only said "you know I don't care... get whatever you need"
And now the person that hated above everything else sleeping alone is in a cold, dark, room alone somewhere, waiting to be put in a dark box & buried alone forever. I can not stand the thought of all the terrible things that are happening to him right now, knowing there's not one single thing I can do to make it right or bring him back.
I have prayed & prayed & tried to accept that he's gone, that there's no place for him but heaven. That God did this for a reason. But I just can't. I just can't accept the reasoning that such a good, kind human being should be taken in the middle of his life such a terrible way! Maybe I'm being totally selfish; maybe there's something I just haven't seen. But I'm angry.... & lost..... And I don't know what to do. And it hurts more than anything I've ever felt. And I do believe Christmas will never be the same; it will always be two days after I lost one of the best friends I've ever had.
I love you Blake. You will be missed.