Inclusion

[shindeco]

Thanks for all the great responses.

Sherongb: I completely understand your point and I'm so glad you raised it. I was very hesitant to raise the issue for exactly those reasons but in the end I decided to go with a "just because others do it doesn't mean it's the right thing to do" kind of reasoning. I certainly didn't wish to offend anyone by raising the issue but am hopeful people can move to an understanding in all situations.

[Sherongb]

Murray: As a nurse I am familiar with people talking to a group of nurses, both male and female together, and talking to 'the ladies'. It is a situation that is, as I said in my earlier post, done by both sexes now much more than in the past, partially because of the women's lib movement.

My feeling is that both sexes should be aware of the implications of how they address others and both sexes are equally guilty of causing some members of a group to feel unincluded (OK, not really a word but it says what I mean), it's not just limited to this group.

[BlueDode]

Intatter shindeco:
You are not the only guy on this website, BTW: a member of our tatting guild is also a member of InTatters. Will keep your feedback in mind in composing my posts.

[dharts04]

Hi Gang,
Since we're a gang of tatters, it seems to fit.
I understand the feeling of being slighted, even when it is unintentional. I would like to point out though, that most of us (men & women included) have handles that do not identify the gender. So it should be forgiven for the oversight in addressing the men as well.
But, as everyone has already posted, we will make more of an effort to avoid this from happening too often. I do hope you will allow us a little slack for the occasional slip-up though.
;-)
Keep on tatting, gang!

[Catriona]

As a female engineer I am very often included in emails etc that start with "Gents", and that rattles my cage so I always try and be gender nutral by saying "folks" at the start of posts.

[picotsnkeys]

I feel bad when people do not feel welcome. I'm guilty of leaving a sour taste in people's mouths with my enthusiasm. Please excuse any offense I've caused her on Intatters. I mean no harm and would sincerely like to encourage any and all to participate.

That said, (which feels so much better now) I find myself on the other end regularly in other aspects of my life. People assume a male gender quite a bit. That's not worded well.....but I hope you get my drift. I too am generally thick skinned, but occassionally I get SO tired of it all. Long ago I decided after learning a romance language, that I wasn't going to worry about Chairwomen, Waiter/Waitress, "all people", and other inclusive editing. Romance language grammar is sweked towards masculine nouns, but that's just grammar, not society.

I hope Intatters as a society can be inclusive and accepting. If my grammar leans one way or another, please call me on it. I promise to learn.

Now to decide what the next pattern I'd like to learn should be....maybe something for Spring Exchange??
Melanie

[Flia]

I tend to use "guys" a lot, but that once offended someone at a crochet community (where there are quite a few men) so I realized that maybe that's not as including as I thought.

[picotsnkeys]

My Mother objected to "guys" because she felt it was slang and not respectful. Perhaps that's what your crochet friend was originally thinking. I, for one, am so glad I've found a community of tatters that shares so much. I'm learning so much about tatting, about how to talk about tatting, and about what to say when those comments come from left field and blow me over with a feather.
Thank you to all and happy tatting!